Money can't buy love ... right?

My husband would kill me if he knew I was blogging right now. But he'll soon find out because he's an avid reader of this blog.

I've just spent 11 hours at work and he's sitting on the couch waiting for me to come home and make dinner. Of course I guess he could make his own ... HAHAHAHA .... right. I just woke up from that fantasy!

Yes, that's more like it! Except my hubby is WAY hotter than that guy. And I'd like to think I'm not that pale. Gees, she almost looks dead, doesn't she? Maybe it's just the evil look on her face? Hmm.

Sorry, ADD moment. I'm good now.

Actually my husband has cooked for me and it's been wonderful. So that wasn't really fair of me. He's a great husband and I am very blessed to have him. Which is the reason for this blog.

In the past, I've been in some pretty decent financial situations. Not because I have ever made a ton of money. Rather, because I am used to working two and three jobs at a time. Hey, I'm a girl who likes her shoes! Actually, that's not entirely accurate either — I simply cannot relax. If I'm not working or cleaning or cooking or doing laundry than I feel an immense amount of guilt — like I'm cheating at the game of life. It's pretty horrible and not at all right. But it's me.

I keep getting off subject. I hate that. So, back to the story.

Summary: I worked a lot, therefore, I usually had money.

I've always been the type of girl who has spoiled the men she is with. Consequently, I've always had the kind of boy (the word "man" not used here on purpose) who only cared about what I could buy them and how often — the kind that thought work was optional and it was only something they had to do every now and then and only until I wrote my bestselling novel that would be made into a chick flick starring Sandra Bullock and make us millions! The kind of man who, on our first Christmas as a married couple, bought me sheets ($12 on clearance at J.C. Penny ... I know because he left the price tag on) when I had gotten him a video iPod (when they first came out, valued at $600.)

Yes. That kind. Except I'm not in the picture — because I'm upstairs doing laundry and paying bills online ... at the same time.

So now, I'm broke. After a horrible first marriage to the man described in the paragraph above, I was ruined. When I first met him, I felt like I could own world. After he left me for a stripper, I owned nothing and the world was calling me telling them I owed them everything I had, plus $592,864.67 for collection costs. 

Awesome.

Then I meet my husband — the good one, not the crappy one. He knows how much I hate my job and he talks often about the day when he'll be able to make enough money to replace my income (he's five years younger than me and just out of college (I know, I'm a cougar. It's something I take pride in)

"Just hang in there, Baby. I'm going to take care of you! I promise!" he says.

And you know what? I believe him.

He truly is my Prince Charming (usually) and all I want to be able to do is give him everything he wants. I want to be able to get him new golf clubs for his birthday and a membership to a golf club at Christmas. I want to lift his truck for him, just because it's Thursday!

But that can't happen. On his last birthday, I could barely afford a card. Stupid.

I felt like such a jerk! Here I have this man, who, the other night, comes in the house, sits next to me on the couch, grabs a bottle of lotion next to him, and starts rubbing my feet. Holy. Crap. Never mind the fact that he asked me to do his next ... it's simply the fact that I didn't have to ask him to do it. It was so nice! And I can't get him anything! It's completely frustrating.

I've been thinking — I know that God is showing me that money isn't everything. He gave me this wonderful blessing of a man and that, in itself, is such a gift! It's true success when you find a soul mate that cares about you so deeply — that is WAYYYYYY better than money! No amount can buy the happiness that comes with that! RIGHT?! I know, I have a hard time with it too. I thought writing that would solidify it in my mind. But no. I still like money. A lot.

The fact is, I have none. And I most likely won't until Sandra Bullock stumbles across my blog and loves my voice so much she stops at NOTHING to track me down and asks me to write her a screenplay in which she can star. But Jesse ruined everything and now she's busy being a single mom. So I don't think I'll hold my breath waiting for that one.

Thanks a lot,  Jesse. Maybe you and my ex could get together and go bowling.

Because of Mr. James' indiscretions, I must make peace with my broke self and come up with some alternatives to show my husband how much I love him without spending a dime.

Here's a list of things I've come up with:
1. Do a chore that I usually force him to do that he hates.
2. Leave him love notes on the bathroom mirror in dry erase marker.
3. Mail him a letter from my work to home telling him how great he is.
4. Record his favorite shows so that next time he sits down the queue will be full of the NFL's greatest moments, plays, quarterbacks, fields ...
5. Write a bunch of reasons why I love him on pieces of paper and tuck them into his pockets as I fold his laundry.

I think these will be just great! It's kind of fun not having a boat load of money at my disposal. It forces me to be creative! Nope. That still didn't work. I still don't think being poor is fun. Thought I'd try that whole writing it down to trick my mind thing once again. But no. I still like money. A lot.

Oh you sweet pile of green happiness ...

I'm going to go make my wonderful husband dinner now. And then slip some notes in his jeans.